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If you haven't heard of Media Molecule's Little Big Planet by now, I want to be you. I've spent the last 72 hours holed up in my imaginary cubicle with nothing but the PlayStation 3's holiday savior, completing creatively designed levels with dragon bosses, Silent Hill pyramid heads (think SH 2; you know what I'm talking about), rockets, ghosts, dinosaurs, Mario (sorry Luigi), Indiana Jones (I kid you not!), Nathan Drake, and--of course--the deliciously adorable sackboy. Or sackgirl. As Media Molecule would probably interrupt right now, it's all up to you.

I don't want to be too cruel to those of you unfortunate enough to not receive a highly coveted invitation to join the beta, (okay, maybe a little cruel), but really, you're not missing too much--only one of the most interesting, thought-provoking, heartwarming, sweetest masterpieces we've seen from this console generation the likes of which may actually put Fable II in its place, and yes, Mr. Molyneux, I did just say that. Possibly I'm over-exaggerating, but after spending significant time delightfully chained to the sackboys and sackgirls in the beta (community hug!), Little Big Planet may just convince you that your PlayStation 3 purchase was worth it after all.

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According to this local news report, a southern Florida youth didn't take too kindly to his mother's insistence that he stop playing video games.

The name of the game he was playing is "Halo 3," which must be an independent title as I've never heard of it. The name of the game is in the headline and mentioned twice in the article so it must be important. I mean, it'd be ridiculous to just say, "Kid punches his mom because he's an unbalanced freak."

Anyway, from what I can make of this article, the kid's mother tells him to turn off the game and go to sleep. Kid says no. Mom turns off the Xbox 360. Kid turns it back on. Mom takes off the WiFi adapter (I'm guessing, at least. The article says the "air card" was removed. From the context, wifi adapter seems apt) and hides it so the kid can't play online anymore. Kid freaks out and rampages through the house to find the adapter and somewhere in the process decks his mom in the face.

Whether or not he yelled, "Boom! Headshot!" afterwards is unknown.

The kid then runs up to his room and locks the door. The parents call the police, who get into the bedroom via a spare key and try to arrest the kid. The kid fights back and pops one of the officers in the mouth before being subdued.

He was charged with battery, domestic violence and battery on a law-enforcement officer.

So what lessons can be taken from this? Don't take the wireless adapter out of your kid's Xbox? Don't punch your mom and then run to your bedroom like a ninny? For the love of God, don't hit a police officer?

No, the real lesson here is that nobody would have found this story if Halo 3 wasn't mentioned in the headline, yet Halo 3 has nothing to do with the story at all. Were he engaged in some other game, I doubt the headline would read "Donkey Konga player punches mother..." In all, a glorious triumph of sensationalism.

I hope this kid's lawyer knows how to effectively blame the video game.

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